Confessions of a Writer #2: So Close Yet So Far

I have a confession to make.

Lately, I've been plagued by doubt, fear, and nonsense talk.

You've heard of the saying, "So close yet so far."

Well I'm all too familiar with the phrase.

Image courtesy of Digital Arts at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So many times I've fallen short of something grand. Here are a few examples:

1. SCBWI Barbara Karlin Grant

In 2011 I applied for the Barbara Karlin Grant. I was young in my career. You know the writer's high of a newbie where for every contest, every submission you are already dreaming of celebrating before you get the notice. Well, imagine my excitement when I received the letter in the mail. As I read the first line of the letter, my emotions skyrocketed with the words, "I am writing to present you with…(wait…for…it…)… this LETTER OF MERIT for your submission, I'M A MONSTER TOO!" My emotional high descended. I read on, "…you did not win the grant…" My heart plummeted. "…but the judges felt your proposal deserved extra recognition." And there it was. My emotion, suspended in air for a brief moment.

So close yet so far…

2. SCBWI Conference Critique by V.P. of Scholastics

In 2013 I attended the International SCBWI conference in LA and had the opportunity to sit down with the V.P. of Scholastics for a critique. In her words, "…this [my ms] is what we're looking for. I want you to revise your manuscript per my comments… I want you to send this to me…do you have an agent? You need an agent…I will recommend you to some who are here today…" STOP right there! Not so easy. I've been trying to get an agent since. Imagine the thought of having an editor waiting for you, but you can't get through the door. 

So close yet so far…

3. New Voice Contest by Lee & Low

This is the latest contest I entered. I didn't win. Surprise. Surprise. BUT I was sent a nice letter with nice comments from the editor stating that I was among the finalist. This news didn't disappoint me too much because by now I've developed a tough skin. But it's the thought of being…

So close yet so far…

And then there's this: 

From Rate Your Story

A visual reminder of where I stand. Great. Story of my life. I received a few of the #2 ratings and I can't help but feel that life has a wicked sense of humor.

So close yet so far…

Can you imagine the torture? I don't mean to sound ungrateful, because I'm not. I'm very pleased at how far I've come. I'm just saying that the feeling of closeness is a big teaser for me.

I'll be honest, I have a full time job with two active kids with busy schedules of their own. As a mom, their schedule is added to my already busy schedule. But I make time between sporting events, during lunch breaks, in the wee hours of the night, and hours in between. I continue honing my craft. I take classes, read, write, get involved with writing groups on social media to stay informed. With all the hard work and effort put into my writing, I find myself questioning my writing career.

Do I want to pursue this?

(doubt)

How much longer can I subject myself to rejection?

(fear)

Is this all for naught?

(nonsense talk)

Then I ask myself WHY do I write? 

The answer is simple.

I enjoy writing. 

Then I remind myself:

I enjoy writing because my inner spirit is released. There is still that kid in me wanting to explore and share a world of wonder. Writing is also like a vacation for me. I get to travel anywhere my imagination takes me.  I may question my writing future, but quit? I can't. Quitting is not in my vocabulary. As far as I think I am, there was always a word of encouragement and validation that I am a good writer. This gives me more determination to pursue what I love and that is to write.

Whenever I find myself questioning myself I look at this picture: 

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." -- Winston Churchill

  

My Wild Imagination

Writers have great imaginations. I am guilty of having too much of an imagination. Take my SCBWI conference in LA experience for example.

The Andrea Pinkney, Vice President of Scholastics, critiqued my manuscript and gave me glowing compliments that left me giddy all weekend long.

Andrea said that she loved my manuscript and that it is what Scholastics is looking for. She even told me to promise her to send it to her. She also wanted to see more of my work. The only caveat is that in order for me to do so, I needed an agent because of Scholastic's policy.

Andrea asked if I had one. I didn't.  So she went so far as to recommend a couple to me (which she said she never does) and even had cocktails with one of them to talk about my work (or at least that's what she said she'd do). This is where my imagination begins to unfold.

I imagined:

• my phone ringing off the hook with agents wanting to represent me

• me having the difficult task of deciding who I should choose
• my manuscript being chosen for the Sue Alexander award
• me moving to Big Sur and living in a quiet cabin so I can write all day
• me quitting my day job so I can learn to surf

• my kids bragging about their mom being the coolest

• me taking my private jet to have lunch in New York with Andrea Pinkney 

• Stars talking about me

• Ellen Degeneres or Oprah Winfrey knocking at my door 

• me making news in Time Magazine

Well, I soon realized that it wasn't going to happen.

Rejection after rejection sent me back to reality. 

The truth of the industry held true. 

Writing is a subjective business. 

Just because the V.P. of Scholastics loves your work doesn't mean an easy ticket in.

My imagination got the better of me. The story I submitted to Andrea Pinkney is still sitting in my folder waiting to be discovered and LOVED by an agent.

But wait!

There is something I DID NOT imagine.

It's the fact that, not one, but TWO of my picture book manuscripts was accepted by MeeGenius!  

I am proud to announce that my story THE TUMMY MONSTER is out! You can find it at MeeGenius.

And another, RUNNING BOY will be coming soon!

With every bad news, comes good news!

SCBWI LA Reflections, Part 3- Buzz Words, Quotes, Key Points, and What Agents are Looking for!

My vocabulary list has grown since the SCBWI conference in LA. I thought I'd share it with you since you'll probably be hearing a lot of these words in the industry. 

SUBVERSIVE- Keynote speaker Jon Sciezka, author of Cowboy & Octopus, The True Story of the Three Little Pigs, and Stinky Cheese Man, talked about stories that broke all the rules. His picture books are perfect examples of these. 

"We have a bold tradition of being experimental in our books because we have the most bold and experimental readers." ~Mac Barnett

PALIMPSEST- Kirby Larson, author of Whispers of the Past, talked about ideas and how many of them are reused to make something new.

METAFICTION- Mac Barnett, author of Extra Yarn, talked about writing a book with new rules.  He defines metafiction as "a book that talks about it being a book." like his own Chloe and the Lion.

TRANSMEDIA- Julie Hedlund and Sarah Towle talked about publishing across multiple formats (print, digital, and film) and how a story is reworked and adapted to each form resulting in the creation of a story world. A good example of this is The Fantastic Flying Books by Moriss Lessmore

GENRE BREAKERS- Julie Hedlund, author of A Group is a Troop of Monkeys and A Shiver of Sharks, mentions that books in app form offers possibilities for subversive stories or genre breakers, which is the crossing over of two or more styles- think mash-up of genres.

Key Points

The SCBWI conference in LA was loaded with fabulous workshops. Here are 2 of my favorite speakers and the message that resonated with me.

From Richard Peck, award-winning author:  You are Only as Good as Your Opening Line- Find something that interest your reader and put it in your first line.

From Andrea Pinkney, V.P., Executive Editor at Scholastics and award-winning author: Think about your unique talent. Explore new genres. Find your twinkle! There could be more interesting stories that may or may not come out of you if you hadn't explored other topics or genre.

"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong" ~Joseph Chilton Pierce

What agents are seeking

Now, what you've all been waiting for! There is a consensus among agents and editors as to what manuscripts they are seeking. Here is their list:

• a story that they connect strongly enough on a personal level
• a story that they feel passionate about
• a sorry that touches the emotional core
• a story with a great concept and great writing!

Sorry to disappoint you, but that's all I've got out of them. The last bullet says it all.

Well that's it for my SCBWI LA reflections. There was a lot of sitting, listening, and note-taking. But as they say, work hard and play hard. Writers sure know how to party!

The faces of these partiers have been disguised to protect their identity.

Overall, I had a blast! I am so glad I saved up for this event. The SCBWI is such a supportive and inspiring group. I am happy to be a children's writer.

If you missed my other SCBWI Reflections, here they are:
Part 1- Coming Home to Reality
Part 2- Goals and Statistics

SCBWI LA Reflections, Part 2- Goals & Statistics

For this post, I just want to share with you my first day at the SCBWI LA Conference and what I learned. If you are a first-timer like me, I recommend going to the New Attendees Orientation. Jolie Stekly, speaker for the session had us newbies answer 2 important questions:

1. Why am I here?

It had been my goal to attend the SCBWI Summer conference once I felt I was at my peak. I've read quite a number of craft books and completed a few writing classes. It was time to take my craft to the next level.

I also wanted to meet my online friends in person, network with others in the industry, and take home up-to-date information about the craft and business of writing. But the most important reason was to get a one-on-one critique on my manuscript. I belong to 3 critique groups and have had my manuscript critiqued at my local SCBWI conference, but I have NEVER had a face-to-face talk about my writing. I wanted to know what I could do to improve my skill. This was my opportunity to get that feedback.

2.What are my goals? 

• To enjoy the moment! Did I ever!
• To improve my interpersonal skills and practice my pitch whenever anyone asks me what I am working on. I did get to practice my pitch on a few friends and that was nerve-racking! I fumbled. But by the time I had my one-on-one critique I felt more at ease. That surprised me the most.
• To have a face-to-face conversation with an agent, editor or publisher...about anything.  I just needed to get that experience. I've always heard people say that the SCBWI LA is where people got their break in the industry or have made connections that gave them that break. So I put it in writing hoping the spiritual laws of success would manifest itself to me. God answered my prayers. More on that later. 

Answering these questions really made my experience more meaningful. The conference was everything I thought it would be and more! 

Our Hostess with the Mostess- Lin Oliver

The Ballroom

If you haven't been to an International Conference yet, you must! The following are some statistics that may motivate you to attend. Lin Oliver compiled this list and shared it with us during our welcoming session. She is as funny and witty as the stories she writes and she's got charisma that can keep this work-a-full-day-catch-a-late-flight-right-after-work, sleep-deprived, non-caffeinated attendee on the edge of her seat. Yessiree! 

Ms. Oliver was nice enough to allow me to share the statistics with you:

• 1266 attended the SCBWI LA conference
• 38% of attendees are published
• 400+ attendees are first-timers to the Summer conference
• 175 submitted art portfolios
• 312 signed up for the writer intensives
• 988 attendees are women
• 192 attendees are men
• 86 are undeclared...go figure! 
• Attendees came from 46 different states and 14 countries outside the U.S. If you are from Mississippi, West Virginia, North Dakota or South Dakota, then you'd better start saving for next years conference to represent!

What did I learn on the first day? 
If you have to go to the Ladies' room, go during the Keynote and not when it is over or you'll be standing in line for a while, which will delay you from attending the workshop that is scheduled immediately after the keynote. If you are late, the chances are the workshop will be full and you have to scurry to find another one before that one fills up. Of course I waited until the end because I didn't want to miss the speech. And with nerves running high and the room temperature at cold, it doesn't matter if you try to do your thing before everything starts because you are bound to feel the urge to go again anyway. Men, you don't have a thing to worry about.  After all, there are only 192 of you.

Well, that's it for now. In part 3 I will give you an overview of the workshops I attended.

Share: What goals do you have for the SCBWI conference?

SCBWI LA Reflections, Part 1- Coming Home to Reality

I just came back from an exciting SCBWI conference in LA in which I felt like I was on an all-time high. I got to meet fabulous people whom I've been friends with online, but have never met in person. Turns out they were more wonderful than I had imagined. I love them all! 

I got to listen to inspiring messages from authors, editors and agents, and party with them at the Black & White Ball on Saturday night.

I also got to meet with Andrea Pinkney, V.P. of Scholastics and New York Times bestselling and award-winning author, during my critique session. She praised me for my work and I left with the feeling of elation. I'll write more about my experience on another post. Back to my story...

When I got home, reality hit me like I was run over by a bulldozer. Waiting for me on my desk were not one, but TWO rejection letters. I've never had two rejection letters come in the mail at one time so it really felt like a message to me yelling, "Get down from your high horse, young lady!" Well, I didn't get off my horse. My horse kicked me off.

This rejection reminded me of a post I had written in 2009.  I am re-posting it here to console myself. Hopefully it will help you too.

------------
IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME

"It’s not you, it’s me.” You may have heard these words one time too many. Your eyes well up as you process this unexpected news of a break-up and you wonder what went wrong in your relationship with your soon to be “ex.”

Hearing these words almost seems like a cop out; escaping the gut-wrenching explanation of what was lacking in the relationship. In the publishing industry, the relationship exists between publisher and author. And the break-up comes in the form of a rejection letter. But the “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse may not be a bad thing.

As an author, you put effort into making sure your story has been critiqued, edited, reviewed, and perfected. You follow the submission guidelines to a tee. You study the publishing house and its back issues or book list. But no matter how hard you try to do everything right to make the relationship work, you still receive a rejection letter.

According to the Children’s Writer’s June 4, 2009 eNews, published by The Institute of Children’s Literature, “rejection letters come to you because the project you just offered to sell isn’t what the editor wanted to buy.” Most of the time, editors are limited to a certain number of manuscripts that they can purchase or are looking for a specific genre. So, even if you’ve crafted a well-written story, followed the submission guidelines, and studied the market, you just may be out of luck. It’s all about whether or not your manuscript fits their need.

Don’t feel discouraged when you get a rejection letter. Even the best writers and the well-known authors get rejected. So, when you receive a rejection letter, find comfort in knowing that it could just be that “it’s them and not you.” Hold your head high and move on. Besides, there are other publishers in the sea.

So You Want To Be A Writer: Step up to the plate

The Giants did it again! 2012

The San Francisco Giants' 2010 World Series win inspired my son to play baseball for the first time at the age of 9.  By today's standards, age 9 is going into the sport late- a sport in which many kids started playing by age 4 or 5. 

This fact didn't discourage my son.  He was determined to catch up to his peers.  He signed up for baseball clinics, watched instructional videos, and practiced batting and throwing everyday with his dad. 

In just a year of playing little league, he was invited to play in an all-star team.  He has since moved to playing in a travel tournament team.  If he had never stepped to the plate to play ball, we would have never known his potential.

I have a few friends who have told me they are interested in writing a book, but I've never seen any one of them follow through in their intent.  It's one thing to be interested in writing, it's another to do something about it.  You'll never know what you are capable of until you take action.

"In baseball, you only get 3 swings and you're out.  In (re)writing, you get as many swings as you want and you know, sooner or later, you'll hit the ball." ~Neil Simon

The San Francisco Giants won 2 World Series in my child's lifetime.  Who knows how many more they can accomplish.  The Giants' have inspired me to keep writing.  For those who have thought about writing, I challenge you to step up to the plate. If you want to make it to the all-star team, you need to attend writer's conferences and read books on writing and publishing to learn something about the industry.  Most importantly, keep swinging that bat and write, write, write.  I'll be rooting for you to hit a home run!

Here are a few helpful resources for the aspiring writer to get started:

What sets apart a writer and someone who writes?

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/the-difference-between-a-writer-and-someone-who-writes/

www.scbwi.org  The first step is to sign-up as a SCBWI member. The site includes information on conferences, awards and grants, and helpful resources.  Here you get to network with other writers and and receive online support.  Read the best in the industry including editors, agents, authors, and illustrators.

www.institutechildrenslit.com  The closest you'll get to a formal education on writing for children in an online course, complete with a comprehensive manual and resource books.  This will give you the foundation to write a good, compelling story.  If you've never taken a course on basic writing, I recommend starting here.

www.verlakay.com  Verla Kay has a great message board to bounce off questions off other writers regarding writing technique, publishing, submissions, etc.

www.asuen.com  A fabulous intensive picture book workshop.  It's a 12-lesson e-mail course divided into 2 parts.  You'll learn the basic elements of a picture book and put it into practice with weekly assignments.

www.picturebookacademy.com/  A wonderful five-week interactive course by Dr. Mira Rosenberg.  Get technical & theoretical information, videos, expert interviews, tips on writing, critiques from your built-in small groups, and a one-on-one critique with Dr. Rosenberg.  This is an academy that brings together a community of writers.

www.cbiclubhouse.com  Great website for beginning writers.  They provide a children’s writing course, a library of instructional articles, videos, podcasts, ebooks & more.  For $4.49 a month, you will also receive monthly issues of the famous Children's Book Insider, packed with market news, hot tips and expert advice

~ Happy Writing!

My Timeline

My decision to become a writer began in 2001, but it wasn't until 2005 that I took action. Here is a break-down of the steps I’ve already taken so you can catch up with what I’ve done so far. This is how it all began...

August 1, 2005

Joined the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI)

September 14, 2005

First class on How to Write and Publish Children’s books with Andrea Brown

September 26, 2005

Volunteered to be library aid for my son's school

March 5, 2006

Applied to the Institute of Chilren's Literature (ICL) and signed up for the writing course

March 15, 2006

Acceptance letter received from ICL

April 5, 2006

Officially enrolled in the Institute of Children’s Literature

January 22, 2008

Completed ICL with certificate of completion

January 23, 2008

Submitted query for article, "Extreme Sports-Hawaiian Style" and "A Lei for You" (my writing assignment for ICL) to FACES magazine

April 6, 2008

Signed contract for article to be published in January 2009 issue of FACES

September 26, 2008

Submitted article, "The Donut Mystery- The Hole Story," to Fun 4 Kidz- another writing assignment for ICL

October 25, 2008

First Writers Conference: Unmask your Characters, Sponsored by NorCal SCBWI

November 10. 2008

Editor at Fun 4 Kidz forwarded Donut article to Boy's Quest, which is sheduled to be published in 2013

March 21, 2009

Writer’s workshop, Beyond the Bay Series: Beyond Websites- How to Juggle Your Promotion Efforts, Social Websites & more; Online Personalities and Still Have Time to Write, with Lynn Hazen and Susan Taylor Brown

March 31, 2009

Joined Jacketflap.com, an online networking site for authors, illustrators, editors, and publishers

March 27, 2009

First time using a “book doctor” to edit my other articles and stories

April 6, 2009

Launched my own writer's blog: www.romellebroas.blogspot.com- a Timeline to Becoming a Published Picture Book Author

June 19, 2009

Article, Potty Mouth, accepted for publication in the August 2009 issue of Stories for Children Magazine.

August 15, 2009

Joined Twitter to start developing followers for future promotional efforts

October 2009

Purchased first business cards as a Children's Writer

October 24, 2009

Attended SCBWI SF North & East Bay Fall Conference: From Creativity to Mastery at Mills College, Oakland, CA

February 26, 2010

Finished my first picture book marathon.  Twenty-six stories in twenty-six days.

April 1, 2010
Joined my first online critique group

June 26, 2010
Writer’s workshop, Beyond the Bay Series: "A Writer's Journey" with Cynthia J. Omololu (author of DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS) and Heidi R. Kling (author of SEA)


July 1, 2010

"Running Boy" accepted for publication on Online Video Children's Media:  SMORIES

July 31, 2010
Informational story, My First Jeepney Ride, accepted for publication in the Nov-Dec 2010 issue of Skipping Stones Magazine


August 11, 2010
Joined established critique group, The Yellow Brick Road, hosted by Lisa J. Michaels

August 14, 2010

"Running Boy" makes its debut on SMORIES

October 23, 2010
SCBWI SF North & East Bay Fall Conference, Acorns to Oaks: Inspiration to Creation, Mills College, Oakland, CA