Pitching a Story

Julie Hedlund of Write Up My Life challenged us 12 x 12 in '12 participants to write a pitch for Tamson Weston's Pitch Contest.  We are asked to prepare a 140 character pitch for our story.  I thought this was going to be fairly easy until I re-read the rules again.  "...in 140 characters," not words!   This is equivalent to the maximum Twitter message.  


In any case, how could I refuse a challenge.  I used Twitter's post to test my pitch.  It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.  I always went over the maximum characters allowed.  How could I possibly condense my story to only 140 characters!  I felt I didn't do my story justice by limiting myself to a few words.  I wanted my pitch to entice readers and give them enough information to know what my story is about- conflict, resolution, and all.  


Below are pitches for 4 different stories.   I'd like to know which story are you more inclined to pick up and read?  Please make your choice in the comment section.  Please note that all of these pitches fall at or below the 140-character count.  I realize some information is lacking.  But your choice will help me see which of the pitches below is more effective.  Thank you!

Title:  A Case of the Funny Face

Pitch:  "Stop making faces or your face will stay that way."  But Frankie still makes faces until one day, his face finally freezes into place.

Title:  I'm a Monster Too!

Pitch:  Herman is waiting for his nightly visitor.  Only this night is different. Join Herman as he outwits Barry into making him a monster too!

Title:  Emily Sparkles

Pitch:  What Emily wants most is a tiara to add to her collection of sparkly things until she finds out she'd have to win the pageant to get one. 

Title:  WEE!

Pitch:  What did the snail say when riding on the back of a tortoise?  Wee!  What did Timothy say when he found out he wasn't as fast as he thought?


Update: 3/8/12
The winners for Tamson Weston's Pitch contest has been announced.  In the post you will find valuable information on how to write a great pitch and what editors may be looking for. Tamson sums it up well.  I'm sure you'll get a lot out of it as I did.