Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Response to Spam Comments

I am one of the few people who actually like Spam. I grew up in Hawaii and Spam is a staple food like rice. But in Hawaii, we prepare our Spam differently, which makes it more palatable for our taste buds. The secret? We cook it in soy sauce and serve it over steaming hot rice, topped with a fried egg

 or wrapped in seaweed (Spam musubi). 

Then there is a certain kind of Spam I dislike-  Spam comments!

Lately, I've been bombarded with Spam comments. I place these particular comments in a special file- the SPAM file.

In all fairness to the people who took the time to invade my blog, I thought I'd pull out this file and respond to these comments. I even took the time to categorize them into genres. After all, that's what writers do. 
Please note that these are actual comments I received on my blog (unedited). To make the read more palatable to you, I'm adding a bit of salt to it. Hope you enjoy.

ASK ROMELLE  Tuzki Bunny Emoticon
Comment: I must ask where exactly did you find your blog style? Did you find it somewhere or did you create it yourself? With a theme like the one you have, my blog could really stand out more. Kindly let me know where you got your theme. My blog post is….

Reply: I got my blog style from Blogger template. Glad you like it. Now shoo!

Comment: I know this if off topic but I'm looking into starting my own blog and was wondering what all is needed to get set up? I'm assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I'm not very internet smart so I'm not 100% certain. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks Visit my website…

Reply: You must be internet smart if you managed to pass Blogger's SPAM filter and post a comment on my blog. And the only thing it's costing me is a headache from doofuses like you! But thank you for visiting.

Comment: Hey there, I just wanted to ask if you ever have had any trouble with hackers? My site was hacked and I wound up losing a few months of hard work due to no back up. Do you have any solutions to stop? My blog is…

Reply: Uh...yah! I am having trouble with people like you. If I had the solution to stop hackers, you'd be the first to know!

Comment: Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to far added agreeable from you! By the way, how can we communicate? My weblog ..

Reply: How can we communicate? I don't know because obviously, you can't!

Comment: The balance-of-system costs will have to sink from around $1.70 cents if you want to 40 cents. You will ascertain a speedy recovery on your stock by comparison. my homepage…

Reply: Uh…okay then. I'm glad you shared that with me because I really wanted to know this bit of information.  NOT!

Comment: You gеt poρped my oωn sight in order to numerοus οpіnіоn of this pаrtіculaг ѕubject uѕing notаble and sound written cοntent. Here is my web page;

Reply: Can you please repeat that?

COMPLIMENTS  Tuzki Bunny Emoticon
Comment: Pretty! This was an extremely wonderful article. Thanks for providing these details. I'd like to know more about you. Check out my site…

Reply: Thanks, but I'm already taken.

Comment: I relish, reѕult іn I ԁisсoνered ϳust whаt Ι usеԁ to be looκing for. Υou've ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a nice day

Reply: Were you really looking for an article on what my writing desk looked like? For 4 days? You need a life! And BTW, I'm not a man.

Comment: Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a really well written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I'll definitely return. my web blog…

Reply:  Freeze! Get your hand away from the bookmark...slowly...that's it. Now put your hands up. Book 'em Danno! 

blushing emoticonComment: May I just say what a relief to uncover somebody who truly understands what they're discussing on the web. You certainly understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. A lot more people need to check this out and understand this side of the story. I was surprised that you are not more popular since you certainly possess the gift. My webpage…

Reply:  Aw, shucks!  Thanks! It's nice to meet someone who understands me. Don't stop, go on…

Comment: Honestly, I think that if more bloggers and siteowners introduced content like your site, the internet would be even more helpful than it now is.

Reply: And if more Spammers stopped posting promotional comments on sites, the internet would be even more happier than it now is.

Thanks to all these wonderful people, I am going to start moderating all my comments. I will spare you the Captcha or word verification process since many of you object to that. I removed the Captcha from my blog after a campaign that has been circling the web. Maybe you should to.

I personally don't like Captchas. If I can't decipher words and numbers after the first try, I'm done. 

Moderating comments is probably the best route for me. It avoids spam mail and the dreaded Captcha.

How do you ward off unsolicited (spam) comments?

What are some of your strangest or funniest comments you received?


  1. About the 2nd Ask Romelle - if the guy isn't internet smart and they want a blog, why do they have a wedsite? Confusing. I like your replies! :D I got my laughs for the day at 9:15 AM! WOW! I don't see my Spam Comments. My parents usually go through my Spam and delete everything because they can be... Odd... I'm going to tweet his - it's funny :)

    1. Lol! I didn't catch that, Erik. You are right. How can the guy be asking about a blog when he already has a website? Too funny.

  2. I like the way you use words and sentences to convey an emotional emotion, check out my site ... "Making spam look like sushi"

    I just put my capthcha back on last week because I was being inundated with spam, even though I can rarely solve the wicked capthcha. Maybe I will go with the moderated comments.

    1. Lol! Lauri, that was good! You could be a spam writer. Since we belong to the same critique group, I am inclined to make a suggestion for you to become a better spam writer. Make yourself "anonymous."

  3. Romelle...I am rolling on the floor while at the same time nodding my head up and down in agreement...that's quite a picture, right? :)

    I love WordPress because it has such great spam filter capabilities...I rarely look at my Spam folder...but when I do, I see entries (hundreds of them) just like the ones you posted. One of the tell-tale signs is the email address they give...for example: or :)

    Every once in a while I press 'delete all spam' to get rid of the whole kit and kaboodle...but, not checking each and every spam comment does mean that sometimes I delete a well-meaning comment that was spammed by mistake.

    Romelle...this post was incredible...thanks for the smiles. :)

    1. Vivian, you crack me up! Yeah, I can picture you. :) and yes, the blatant websites and emails are a dead giveaway.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...